We Sit, You Speak; We Ignite, You Shine
Building Healthy Relationship
“The power of self-love is greater than any other relationship – after all, you’re there for you, through thick and thin, no matter what.”
When someone says the word “relationship,” chances are you think of your interactions and behavior toward someone else, like a family member, spouse, children, or friend. But the truth is, there is also one other very important relationship: the one with yourself.
I realized how important building a healthy relationship with myself is after marrying my husband. Up to that point, I wasn’t that bothered about building a relationship with myself as there was no reason to. I have always been okay.
As I got married to my husband as his second wife, because he was a widower, I noticed my self-love wavering and waning (I’d get frustrated with myself, I felt the need to prove my self-worth to others, I wanted to ensure that everyone loved me and I always put my mental health at risk trying to achieve this).
I had always thought that the problem was from others, but then I realized that the problem was from me – I wasn’t even on good terms with myself. It took a while for me to understand that how I think about myself and treat myself is one of the very first, most important, and longest relationships I’ll ever have because this relationship is the foundation for all other relationships in my life.
I decided to work on building a healthy relationship with myself because I can only give much love to my spouse, step-kids, and everyone around me out of the abundance of love in me.
Below are five (5) practical steps that helped me in building a healthy relationship with myself.
- Erasing negative talk in my head: We all have that voice inside our heads that guides our decisions. But for most of us, this voice can do more harm than good. It’s the belief that we’re not quite good enough or strong enough or not beautiful. I got to recognize this voice and rewrite the words I wanted to be play in my head.
- Identifying my strengths and weaknesses: Loving my strengths and uniqueness helped me to build my self-confidence, and accepting my weaknesses helped me to improve on myself
- Engaging in self-care: In caring for myself, I engaged in eating nutrient-dense foods, getting some physical activity, improving my sleep hygiene, spending time with people with positive energy, journaling, and practicing relaxation techniques.
- Getting to know yourself: How many of your decisions do you make for yourself? If you’re like most, it’s not many. Oftentimes, we make most of our decisions to please other people. And we can do this for so long that we forget what makes us happy. I started making small decisions that are only for me, and I was able to do this when I stepped away from the people who have the most influence on my life.
- Practicing spending time alone: Taking time alone is a great way to cut out the noise, so you can connect on a deep level. When it’s just you alone, it’s easy to work on the relationship with yourself.
When you are in a healthy relationship with yourself, you embrace your strengths and opportunities. You value who you are and what you’ve experienced. And you take good care of your physical, mental, and social health.
