We Sit, You Speak; We Ignite, You Shine
Listening Vs Speaking
Listening is one of the most valuable skills you can master. By becoming a better listener, you can improve your productivity, as well as your ability to influence, persuade and negotiate, and also avoid conflict and misunderstandings which is necessary for workplace/relationship success.
Listening is a skill for resolving problems. When you listen, you get information on what is said and what is not said; and that helps to proffer better solutions.
As much as we speak often, we need to improve our listening ability. In the previous blogs, it was discussed that your body language matters a lot during communication. It can be frustrating and annoying when you are talking to someone and their attention is somewhere else or on something else. For instance, you are talking to someone and you expect them to give you full attention and listen to you but they seem to be busy with their phone or laptop, partly listening to you. This is not effective listening.
Everyone loves to be heard and understood. Listening is a superpower. It takes more effort and constant practice to be an effective listener. Listening involves hearing and understanding the message of the speaker.
It is important to understand the factors of speaking too. Speaking involves being able to respond to that which you understand, have your turn, and pass your message confidently, and with clarity. There’s the right time to speak and the right way to speak. A rude speech and untimely speech will get little or no attention from your audience.
For effective communication to take place, there’s a need for improvement in our speaking and listening ability.
Practical Steps to becoming an Active Listener
- Pay Close Attention: Giving your undivided attention, and acknowledgment shows the speaker that you’re listening. Understand that non-verbal communication also speaks loudly. Always pay rapt attention when being spoken. Many people find it hard to pay attention when listening to others. You can take the following steps to help you become an active and effective listener:
- Look at the speaker directly.
- Put aside distracting thoughts (you can use your fingers to hold your tongue or use the tip of your teeth to hold your tongue).
- Don’t be eager to give a response instantly.
- Avoid being diverted by environmental factors; for instance, side discussions.
- Take note of the speaker’s body language.
- Indicate That You’re Listening: Use your body language and gestures to show that you are immersed in the conversation. Indications that you’re listening includes:
- Shaking your head sometimes.
- Smiling and using facial expressions.
- Motivating the speaker to continue, with small verbal comments like yes, and “uh huh.”
- Looking into the speaker’s eyes intermittently.
- Give Feedback: As a listener, your role is to comprehend what is being said. This may require you to reflect on what is being said and ask questions. Evaluate what has been said by rephrasing. “What I’m hearing is…,” or “Sounds like you are saying…,” are great ways to reflect. You can also ask questions to clarify certain points. “What do you mean when you say…” or “Is this what you mean?”
- Delay Passing Judgment: Don’t be quick to interrupt others when speaking as this can frustrate the speaker and limit full understanding of the message. Let the speaker end each point before asking your questions. Don’t interrupt with counterarguments, allow the speaker to fully communicate what they are trying to say.
- Respond Appropriately: Active listening is designed to facilitate understanding. You are gaining information, insight and perspective. You add nothing by attacking the speaker or putting him/her down.
As an active listener, be honest, and sincere in your response. Also, give your opinions respectfully. Treat the other person in a way that you would want to be treated.
Practice active listening techniques today to become a better communicator, improve your workplace productivity, and develop better relationships.
