Are You Parenting the Child You Have—or the Child You Wish You Were?

Tough question, right? I get it—because I’ve been there too.

Without realizing it, many well-meaning parents project their unmet dreams, expectations, and old stories onto their children. It’s not because we’re bad parents. It’s because we love them so deeply that we want the best for them—sometimes, without even asking what they truly want.

Today, I want to walk you through three common mistakes that quietly erode the connection between parents and children and more importantly, how you can fix them. 

Mistake #1: Projecting Your Own Dreams Onto Your Child

When we push our personal passions onto our kids without considering their interests, we risk sending them a dangerous message: Who you are isn’t enough. You must be like me to be worthy.

Signs you might be projecting:

1. Forcing them into activities you love (but they don’t enjoy).
2. Expecting them to act just like you did at their age.
3. Feeling disappointment when they don’t meet the “vision” you had for them.

How to Fix It:

1. Start asking, “What do you enjoy the most?” instead of “Why don’t you like this?”
2. Celebrate their passions even if they look different from yours. Support their natural strengths, and watch their self-esteem soar.

Mistake #2: Making Decisions Without Their Input

Have you ever turned down an invitation on behalf of your child without asking them? 

Maybe you decided what they should wear, what they should play, or what hobbies they should take up—without giving them a say.

Empowering children to make small choices builds their independence, self-trust, and inner confidence.

How to Fix It:

1. Offer choices: “Would you like to wear the blue dress or the red one?”
2. Ask for their input before answering on their behalf.
3. Respect their decisions (even if they surprise you!).

Mistake #3: Prioritizing Perfection Over Progress

Instead of celebrating their efforts, we focus on where they fell short. Over time, this teaches children that they are only lovable when they succeed—which can breed anxiety, fear of failure, and low self-worth.

How to Fix It:

Shift your language from criticism to encouragement: 

1. Instead of “You need to do better,” say, “I see how hard you worked, and I’m proud of you.”
2. Notice their small victories and progress.
3. Be their safe place where trying matters more than achieving.

Practical Ways to Deepen Your Bond Today

If you’re wondering, “Where do I even start?” here are two simple exercises you can try this week:

1. The “Who Is My Child” Reflection.

• Write down three activities or interests your child naturally enjoys.
• Ask yourself: Am I supporting these passions, or trying to redirect them?

2. The “One-on-One Activity Test”:
3. Let your child pick an activity they love.
4. Spend time doing it their way without correcting, teaching, or improving it.
5. Just be with them.

Small changes like these open huge doors to trust, communication, and connection.

At the end of the day, parenting isn’t about raising a perfect version of yourself. 

It’s about loving, seeing, and nurturing the incredible, unique soul standing right in front of you.

Your child doesn’t need a perfect parent. 

They need a present, patient, and connected one.

And guess what? 

If you’re willing to reflect, grow, and shift your approach—you’re already on the right path.

Ready to Build a Stronger Bond with Your Child?

If today’s blog post resonated with you, imagine how much more transformation can happen with personalized support.

I invite you to book a therapy session with me today. Together, we’ll uncover the root of parenting struggles, heal old patterns, and build the strong, loving connection your child deserves.

Your children are counting on you to see them. 

Let’s make sure they feel it.

Book your session now—and let’s start transforming your parenting journey together.

Your new beginning is just a click away.

Click the link below to schedule a session and take the first step toward a healthier mind:

www.omgglobalconsulting.com/services/i-need-to-talk/

For inquiries, reach out to our dedicated team at OMG Global Consulting:

Website: www.omgglobalconsulting.com

Email: info@omgglobalconsulting.com

Phone: +234 802 434 5481, +234 805 246 4116

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Let’s embark on this journey to happiness, fulfillment, and growth together!